FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)

Our goal is to recreate the experience of an ISTA training, as nearly as possible, online: a trusted container in which members share posts, write to each other, find members nearby and meet in small pods.

The site also serves as a registry, so you can find and connect with other ISTA graduates who live near you or share your interests. The home page has more about the community.

No. 50Plus Tribe is not a commercial site. There are no ads, your information is never sold, and the site is not designed to keep you scrolling or to steer you into echo chambers. In the future we may accept voluntary donations to cover the cost of running the site.

Both, in the way an ISTA training is. Within the container you meet many new people, and in its closeness, openness and trust, friendships and relationships may form.

Think of the RBDSMT check-in we learn at ISTA (relationship status, boundaries, desires, safer sex, medical conditions and triggers), which supports consent, safety, health, trauma awareness and respect for boundaries. Your profile, especially the Intimate section that you share with only a few chosen members, works as an online version of it.

You can also use the site simply to connect: to meet ISTA graduates near you, or to find graduates in a city you are visiting for a coffee or a drink.

Membership is open to ISTA graduates over 50. On the home page, select Log in, then Create an account. Enter the username you would like, your email address and the members’ access key. The key is shared among ISTA graduates over 50 and in the related WhatsApp groups.

We then email you a link to set your password. Open it to complete your registration, and then create your profile.

Wait a few minutes, and check your spam or junk folder. Some email services, Hotmail and Outlook in particular, sometimes block our messages. If nothing arrives, use “Forgot your password?” on the Log in page to send a new link, or register again with an address from another provider; Gmail is known to work.

If that fails too, post in the WhatsApp group “Connecting with ISTA 50+ Grads…” and an administrator will register you by hand.

On the Log in page, choose “Forgot your password?” and enter your username or email address. We email you a link to set a new password. After ten wrong attempts within 15 minutes, logging in is paused for a while, to protect accounts from password guessing.

Create your profile. Until you do, you can read posts and search for members, but My Pod, Messages, Sharing and writing posts are not available. The site offers you the Create your profile page whenever you try one of them.

On a computer or tablet, the menu bar at the top has Home, My Pod, Messages, Profiles (Search, Sharing), Posts (View posts, Create or edit post) and Help. More, at its right end, opens My profile, Edit profile, Settings and Log out.

On a phone, the tabs along the bottom of the screen are Home, Pod, Messages and Profiles (Search); More opens everything else: your profile, Edit profile, Settings, Sharing, Posts, Help and Log out.

Every field is optional. To make your profile most useful to others, consider filling in Location (a US zip code, or GPS latitude and longitude), Relationship Status, Gender and Sexuality. To share more about yourself, complete the Spiritual, Sacred Sexuality & Shamanic Practices section.

Your birth date goes in the Intimate section: only your intimate friends see it, but every member sees the age calculated from it.

Your profile has three levels:

Level	Who sees it
Public	Every logged-in member
Casual	Members you have made casual or intimate friends
Intimate	Only members you have made intimate friends

Nothing on the site is visible to people who aren’t members, and your email address is never shown to anyone.

Make them a casual or intimate friend, either on their page or under Profiles → Sharing, on the Add a friend tab. They are told when you share more with them.

Sharing works one way. Making someone your friend lets them see more of your profile, but you see more of theirs only if they choose to share it with you. Profiles → Sharing shows, in one place, everyone you share with (I share with) and everyone who shares with you (Shared with me).

Asking is built into Messages. Open your conversation with the member, select More at the top right, and choose “Ask … to share more”. You can add a short note, then ask to be a casual or an intimate friend. The option appears only while there is a level they haven’t yet given you.

Your request appears in the conversation as a special message with answer buttons for them: Make casual or Make intimate, or Not now. If they accept, their level for you changes at once, your request is marked “Accepted”, and a note in the conversation tells you what you can now see. If they choose Not now, you are not told; the request simply stays unanswered.

Profiles → Sharing has no request button, but it offers a gentler way to ask: share your own profile with them first. They see you under Shared with me, with a “Share back” button that returns the same level to you in one step.

Go to Profiles → Sharing and open the I share with tab. Each member there has Casual, Intimate and None buttons: choose another level to change what they see, or None to stop sharing with them altogether. You can do the same on the member’s own page.

The change takes effect at once. Lowering or removing a level is never announced, so the member is not told. It does not affect what they share with you.

Open Edit profile and find the “Your photos” card. Add up to 12 photos; large phone photos are reduced in size for you. Drag a photo to change the order (on a phone or tablet, press and hold first). The first photo is your main photo, shown on your page and in search results.

To give a photo a subtitle, or to delete it: on a computer, point at the photo and select the in its corner (or right-click the photo); on a phone or tablet, press and hold the photo until its menu appears. Then choose “Add subtitle”, “Move left”, “Move right” or “Delete”. The subtitle is shown under the photo on your page.

Use JPEG, PNG or WebP. iPhone photos in HEIC format need “Most Compatible” chosen in the iPhone’s Camera settings.

On your own page, use “See your page as…” and choose a member, a casual friend or an intimate friend.

Yes, simple ones, so the administrators can see how the site is used and what to improve. They are kept on our own server: nothing is sent to Google or any other company, and no advertising or tracking cookies are used.

What is counted: which kinds of pages are viewed (for example “a profile” or “Messages”, never whose profile or which conversation), whether by a member or a visitor, phone, tablet or computer, the browser, how long pages take to load and how long they stay in view, and the name of a site that linked here. Activity is counted in totals too, such as how many messages, reactions or posts there were in a day.

What is not kept: your IP address, your location, or anything that says what you personally looked at or did. Statistics are counts, never shown per member. The detailed page records are deleted after 30 days. If your browser is set to “Do Not Track” or “Global Privacy Control”, nothing is counted for you.

Go to Profiles → Search and type part of a name, or leave the box empty to list everyone. You can narrow the list by distance, age, relationship status and practices. Distances are approximate, measured between members’ zip codes or GPS coordinates.

In Messages, choose New and start typing their name, or use “Send a message” on their page. Type in the box at the bottom and press Send (or Ctrl+Enter). A message can be up to 5,000 characters, about two pages.

In Messages and in your pod’s chat, press the microphone beside Send and speak. The first time, your browser asks for permission to use the microphone. A timer shows how long you have been speaking; a voice message can be up to 4 minutes, the timer warns you in the last 10 seconds, and the recording stops by itself at the limit.

Press the stop button when you are done. Nothing is sent yet: you can listen to it first, then choose Send, Record again or Discard.

The other person presses the round play button to listen, and can tap the waveform to jump ahead or back. A dot marks a voice message you haven’t played yet. Like a written message, it can be taken back for 15 minutes, and only the people in the conversation can hear it.

In Messages and in your pod’s chat, press the paperclip beside the writing box and choose them, or drag them onto the conversation; a picture you copied can also be pasted into the box. On a phone, the paperclip also offers the camera and your photo library. You can add up to 5 to one message, with or without text.

What	Kinds	Largest
Photos	JPEG, PNG, WebP, GIF, and iPhone photos (HEIC)	10 MB each
Documents	PDF, Word (.doc, .docx), Excel (.xls, .xlsx), plain text (.txt)	10 MB each

Photos are made smaller for sending (at most 2,000 pixels across), and the hidden details cameras add, such as where a photo was taken, are removed. Select a photo to see it larger; documents are downloaded when selected. Other kinds of file (for example ZIP files or programs) can’t be sent.

Only the people who can read the message can open what is in it. Taking a message back removes its photos and documents too, and in pods they go with the chat when new pods are formed.

Yes, the same way as photos: the paperclip, dragging, or (on a phone) your camera or photo library. A video counts as one of the 5 things a message can hold.

• Kinds: MP4, iPhone videos (MOV), M4V, WebM and 3GP, which covers what iPhones and Android phones record.
• Largest: 64 MB and 3 minutes long.

After you choose a video, the site prepares it so that every phone and computer can play it: it is made smaller (720p), iPhone colors are adjusted, and the hidden details, such as where it was filmed, are removed. “Preparing the video…” shows how far along this is; it takes from a few seconds to a minute or two, depending on its length. You can press Send meanwhile: the message goes as soon as the video is ready.

The other person plays it in the conversation, and can watch it full screen with the player’s own button.

Yes, on a computer or tablet (on a phone it already does). At the top of a conversation in Messages, or of your pod’s chat, press the full-window button . The conversation then covers the whole window, without the menu bar or the list of conversations, which leaves more room for the messages.

To go back, press the same button again (it now shows ), or press the Esc key.

In a conversation that has moved on, you can answer one earlier message so it is clear what you are responding to, as in WhatsApp.

On a computer: move the pointer over the message, select the that appears in its top corner (or right-click the message), then select Reply.

On a phone or tablet: hold your finger on the message for a moment until the rest of the screen dims and a menu appears under it, then tap Reply.

The start of that message then appears just above the box you write in. Write your answer and send it as usual; it can also be a voice message or have photos and files. To change your mind, select the × beside the quoted message (on a computer, the Esc key does the same).

Your answer appears with the message it answers quoted at the top: the name of whoever wrote it and its first few lines. Select the quote to go back to that message, however far back it is; it is highlighted for a moment. If the original is later taken back, the quote says so instead.

A reaction is a small emoji, such as 👍 or ❤️, added under a message: a quick way to answer without writing anything.

On a computer: move the pointer over the message and select the beside it (or select and then React). Six common emoji appear; select one.

On a phone or tablet: hold your finger on the message for a moment. The six emoji appear just above it; tap one.

For any other emoji, select the + at the end of the six. A panel with all the emoji slides up, with a search box (try “party” or “flower”), groups such as animals and food, and a choice of skin tones.

Each of you can give a message one reaction. Choose a different one to change it, or the same one again to remove it. You can also select a reaction already under a message to add the same one, or to remove yours. No one is notified of a reaction: the other member simply sees it under the message.

Each message in Messages has its own menu. On a computer, move the pointer over the message and select the in its corner, or right-click the message. On a phone or tablet, hold your finger on the message for a moment.

• Reply answers that message (see above).
• React puts an emoji under it (see above).
• Copy copies the message’s text, to paste elsewhere.
• Edit (your own written messages, for 15 minutes) puts the text back in the writing box to change it; select Save, or × to leave it as it was. The message then shows “Edited” beside its time.
• Take back (your own messages, for 15 minutes) removes it for both of you.
• Report (the other member’s messages) tells the administrators about it.
• Delete for me removes it from your copy of the conversation only.
• Select messages lets you tick several and delete them together.

Yes, for 15 minutes after sending. In Messages, open the message’s menu (see above) and select “Take back”; in your pod’s chat, “Take back” appears under your message.

Taking it back removes it for everyone who could see it, with any photos, files or recording sent with it; a short note shows that a message was taken back. Any reactions to it go too, and if someone had replied to it, their reply now says “This message was taken back.” where the quote was.

Open your conversation with them and select More at the top right:

• Block stops them from writing to you. They are not told.
• Block and report also tells the administrators, with a box for describing what happened.

To report a single message, select “Report” in the message’s menu (see above). For anything else that concerns you, write to the administrators.

A pod is an online version of an ISTA pod: a small group of 5 to 7 members who stay together for one round, currently 30 days. Members are sorted into pods at random, and new pods form when each round ends, so over time you meet many people.

My Pod shows your pod’s members, its group chat and any meetings planned. Unlike a physical pod, you can come and go at any time. The messages you post, with any voice messages, photos and files, are seen by your pod’s members and no one else.

Most of the time a pod is a conversation: members post text or voice messages and come back hours or days later to read the replies.

Any member can also plan a meeting from My Pod, with a time and, if you like, a video link such as Zoom; or simply agree a time when everyone will be in the pod together. Everyone in the pod sees the meeting. All meeting times are in Eastern time (EST or EDT), the same for everyone, and always say so; where your own time is different, it is shown next to it. A day before, everyone gets a reminder by email and in Notices on My Home, with the Zoom link if there is one, and another notice an hour before it starts. The member who planned a meeting, and the pod holder, can cancel it before it starts, with Cancel meeting on the meeting shown at the top of the pod chat. If a meeting is called off, everyone is told the same way. You can turn off the emails on the Settings page, under Pods.

PodTalk lets the members of a pod talk together out loud, like the sound of a Zoom call, without video. Enter the pod on My Pod and select Turn on PodTalk above the chat. Everyone who has PodTalk on hears everyone else who has it on, at once. Members who haven’t turned it on hear nothing, and nobody hears them: turning it on is always your own choice.

The first time, your browser asks whether this site may use your microphone; allow it. Headphones or earbuds give the best sound. While PodTalk is on, your name is green when you talk, and a headset shows beside your name in the members list. Use Mute to stop being heard for a while, and Turn off PodTalk when you’re done.

Stay on My Pod while PodTalk is on: going to another page, leaving the pod, or closing the window turns it off. On a phone, keep the screen on, because many phones stop the microphone when they lock.

Nothing said on PodTalk is recorded or kept. Only the members of your pod can hear you, and only while they are in the pod with PodTalk on. The pod holder can mute a member, who can unmute again, or take someone off PodTalk until the pod holder allows it again.

The Community Pod is one room for all members, on a page of its own. Select Enter the Community Pod to come in: your name joins the list of who is here, and you can write in its chat and hear everyone talking on PodTalk.

You come in muted, so nobody hears you. The large button above the chat says plainly whether you are muted or live; select it to talk, and again to mute. The first time, your browser asks whether this site may use your microphone.

You are in only while the page is open and showing. Switching to another tab or window, going to another page, locking your phone or logging out takes you out at once; to come back, select Enter again. If you neither write nor talk for an hour, you are asked whether you want to stay; with no answer, you are taken out and back to My Home.

Messages in the Community Pod’s chat, with their voice messages, photos and files, are deleted after 2 days. Talking on PodTalk is never recorded, there or in your pod.

When someone comes into the Community Pod, a notice in the lower right corner of the other pages says who, with a link to go there. If you’d rather not see these, uncheck “Tell me when someone comes into the Community Pod” on the Settings page, under Pods.

Each pod has a pod holder, shown on My Pod with an asterisk (*) after their name. The pod holder is chosen when the pods are formed and stays pod holder until the round ends. The notice that the pods were formed says who your pod holder is.

The choice is half on members’ ISTA score (from their profile) and half on how much they wrote in their pod’s chat in the last 10 days. Both are compared only within the pod, so it doesn’t take a very high score or a great many messages to be chosen.

If you’d rather not be pod holder, check “I do not want to be considered for a pod holder” on the Settings page, under Pods. If you are the pod holder when you check it, another member of your pod takes over.

If everyone in a pod has checked it, the pod has no pod holder, and its members are told. It gets one as soon as someone unchecks the box.

Although anyone can schedule a pod meeting, the pod holder may choose to be more proactive. The pod holder may also choose to moderate when appropriate: the pod holder can cancel any pod meeting before it starts (everyone is told who cancelled it), and on PodTalk can mute a member or take them off it.

Yes, on their Settings page, check the box that says “I do not want to be considered for a pod holder.” A new pod holder will be chosen automatically.

On the Settings page, under Pods, choose whether you want to take part. You need a profile first. If you join between rounds, you wait for a place in the next pod. You can change your choice once a day.

Choose Posts → Create or edit post. Add a title, your text and, if you like, a photo, choose tags and categories, and publish. Your post appears with your name and a link to your profile. Depending on your account, an administrator may review a post before it appears.

Every logged-in member can read and comment on your posts; nothing is visible to the public. You can edit or delete your own posts at any time under Posts → Create or edit post, on the My posts & drafts tab.

They keep posts organized and easy to find. Categories are like a book’s table of contents: they give the site its structure. Tags are like its index: they let readers find every post on a particular topic.

If none of the existing tags fits, you can create a new one, but please do so sparingly: the more tags there are, the harder it is to find relevant posts. Categories are managed by the administrators; to suggest a new category or a change, write to the administrators.

Choose Posts → View posts. You can search by words in the title or text, by author, by tag and by category. Each tag you add narrows the results to posts that have all the chosen tags, and a category includes its subcategories.

Yes. Every post starts in the basic editor on the Create or edit post page, which is enough for most posts and makes choosing tags and categories easy. Once the post is saved, as a draft or published, “Edit with WordPress” opens it in WordPress’s full editor, which adds headings, lists, more photos and many other formatting options.

If you use the WordPress editor often, turn on “Enable WordPress toolbar” on the Settings page.

They tell you what’s new: messages, friends, pod news, comments on your posts, new members near you and announcements from the administrators. Close one with its ×. On the Settings page you can turn off the kinds you don’t want; security notices and announcements always show.

Only about new messages (you choose how often under Settings → Messages), about pod meetings (a reminder the day before, and if one is called off; you can turn these off under Settings → Pods: “I do not want to receive any email about pod meetings”), and when someone logs in to your account from a browser you haven’t used before. Messages themselves are never included in emails. Everything else stays on the site.

On the Settings page. Both need your current password. A change of email address takes effect when you open the confirmation link we send to the new address.

At the bottom of the Settings page, under Delete my account. This permanently removes your profile, photos, messages, pod posts and posts, and cannot be undone. If you might come back, consider simply taking a break instead.

Write to the administrators in Messages: choose New and type “admin”, then select Administrators (or choose “Write to the administrators” on the New message page). Every administrator can read what you send, and you will see the name of the one who answers.

To report a particular message or member, use Report or Block and report in the conversation (see Someone is bothering me).